Precious time

As we get older, time starts to pass more quickly and the milestones accumulate.

This year has been exceptional in that regard - two uncles turned 80 and one 75, my parents are celebrating their 50th anniversary, my sister and her husband their 25th, and some old friends and I just marked 30 years since we started university.

Not one of us feels as though that many years have gone by. And yet these points in time serve to remind us to appreciate our accomplishments and each other. And more than that, to take the time to celebrate it all.

Cheers!

Tranquility

Oh the joy of soaking in the scenery during a summertime getaway. Amid the day-to-day hustle bustle, it's rejuvenating to have some time to just be in nature. Last week while staying at a friend's cottage, I opted to remain fixed on the dock, simply watching the weather go by, reading from time to time, and mostly just enjoying regular visits from a variety of duck families.

An idyllic way to unwind and feel grounded once again. Ahhh...

Marathon weekend with my pals Yasmin & Perry

A few pic's from Ottawa's Marathon weekend - May 23-24. It was spectacular spring weather and over 36,000 runners were there to take part in various runs leading up to the half and full marathons on Sunday.

Perry ran his very first marathon and did really well - very inspiring indeed!! Yasmin and I were the cheering section at both the 20 k and 41.25 k marks - here's Perry blasting past with just 750 m to go!

And here's Yasmin happily cheering him on - what a lot of prep went into this on both their parts!

Hugs to Yasmin & Perry for a wonderful birthday and time away and for allowing me to be part of this very momentous occasion.

Only drawback - I think I committed to running the 5 k with Yasmin next year... hmmm...

Hitting the road

Vacation's finally here!

Just about to head off to spend time with family, then for a road trip to Muskoka, followed by a visit to Ottawa.

So far, the sun's shining, music's ready, suitcase is almost packed, and very soon, I'll disconnect from e-communications. It'll be a true test of my resolve to take a break, be in the moment and deny my online habit.

Wish me luck and have a great week!

Reflections on a friend

For the past few weeks, thoughts and memories of Debrah have been flooding through my consciousness. It's been a year since she passed away so prematurely. 

While I miss her, I'm still so inspired by all that I learned and experienced in the time I knew her. Thinking of you my friend.

Gratitude

Thank you to everyone for your wonderful words and support. While it is really difficult not have have Maggy here with me, the memory and influence of her spirit remain strong.

Many of you know that Maggy was diagnosed with lung cancer more than a year ago. Thankfully, we enjoyed 14 more months together instead of the prognosis of two. During that time, we were able to get to know our new home, neighbourhood, friends and closer-by family.

Under the care of both a naturopathic veterinarian (Dr. Autumn Drouin) and a traditional chinese medicine vet (Dr. Rona Sherebrin), she did extremely well. She continued to enjoy her favourite activities including running and rolling in the park, long walks in all seasons, meeting friends, and eating - especially the best thing of all, peanut butter. With the aid of homeopathic supplements, home-cooked meals and acupuncture, her health remained good for most of that time.

My theory is that she wasn't influenced by medical terms or human fears. She continued to live each day in Buddhist-like fashion, embracing anything and everything that came her way. She also maintained a strong will to see, do and experience what she loved even when her physical body started to complain.

Mika's theory is that Maggy held on until she knew I was safely settled in Toronto. I believe that is also true. Especially when I remember speaking with Yasmin following Maggy's diagnosis, hoping I could keep her with me for at least one more year. I'm especially grateful that this wish was granted - to both of us.

Photo: Maggy at her favourite Toronto park, Spring 2008

My Maggy May

I'm sorry to have to say that Maggy left us yesterday. Although it was her time, she will be so very much missed by all.

I'm so thankful to have had such a beautiful, loving, amazing baby, companion and friend in my life for 14 1/2 years. We've experienced a lifetime together and she will always be in my heart.

Thank you for everything, my Maggy May. I will love you always, xoxoxo.

Friendship...

... comes in all forms, shapes and sizes. Every instance is a blessing. And it's always amazing how the right ones come along at just the right time - whether in a long distance call, hurried e-hello, impromptu get together or shared experience.

Whether brand new or wonderfully old, they form much of the fabric of life. And it's especially heart-warming to know we can count on each other. Cause that's what friends are for - each and every one.

A lovely surprise and blast from the past

Today I was unexpectedly able to get together with my friend and former colleague Margaret, visiting from Victoria for a short stopover in Toronto. It was great to chat over wine and dinner and hear about all the goings on back at Tourism BC.

I'm so grateful to have had the chance to live and work and be in BC for 10 years and every now and then am reminded about how wonderful the people are there. Tonight was just that - thanks Margaret for the catch up! As the team at TBC ramps up to the 2010 Olympics it's an exciting time and I know everyone will do an amazing job.

While I'm definitely at home back in Ontario, I do miss Vancouver and everyone there. Guess it's time to start planning a return visit!

Two of our favourite peeps

Just 'borrowing' this great shot of two of the best people in the world: Tom (aka Road Warrior) and Mika (aka Pansy Girl).

You'll not meet nicer, more generous or wonderful individuals anywhere. And while both are as modest as can be, they're worldly wise, always engaged, hilariously funny, supportive, compassionate and loved by many.

I first got to know Mika while we worked together at Tourism BC and we've known since that we're destined to be lifelong kindred spirits, even if living a country apart. Whenever we're in touch - which is a necessity every few weeks - the miles melt away.

Tom and Maggy and I bonded during our 3,000 km road trip from Vancouver to Toronto and it's an adventure we'll never forget. Especially as it was one of the kindest things to do - pick up and venture across the country in the middle of December while playing driver, tour guide, protector and fellow spiritual explorer.

Maggy and I both thank our lucky stars that Mika and Tom (and Tex and Maggie too) came into our lives.

Hope you two had wonderful birthdays and are enjoying time together following some intense travels. Love you!

Photo: Tom and Mika, by Tom (we think)

The stuff of life

Life's been busy of late with work, family, Maggy, friend and home stuff. Some friends have sadly been struck by the loss of parents, we celebrated my dad's 70th birthday with a surprise party, some key projects at work have been heating up, Maggy's health has been up and down and up again, a friend's getting married, etc., etc.

I've also been trying to get caught up on outstanding taxes, finding and seeing physicians, locating the finishing touches for our new home, getting to the gym, finding appropriate cards and gifts, catching up with friends and family, keeping on top of Maggy's appointments and ointments, cleaning off my pile-high desks at home and work, finding time for a hair appointment, joining a yoga class, getting out and about in Toronto, etc., etc.

Maggy and I will celebrate a year of living in Toronto on October 1 and it still boggles my mind that we've accomplished and accommodated so much since leaving Vancouver. Sometimes, it seems like just yesterday and other times it feels like a lifetime ago.

Mixed feelings

Paradoxes are such a part of life and when they hit you all at once, it's impossible not to pay close attention. Right now several key aspects of my life are being affected and tested and leading to that unavoidable of occurrences - personal growth. That in itself is paradoxical as the comfort and stability often sought can be the opposite of those annoying opportunities to evolve.

Relationships at work, in love, and in friendship are all over the place. The good news is that based on past learning, the challenges are not as disconcerting and I'm able to consciously guide myself through them with some clarity.

The other good news is that the saying 'when a door closes, a window opens' appears to be accurate. A budding love relationship is now likely to become a lifelong friendship instead, and current work conflicts may lead to bigger, better options down the road.

While we don't always know what lies ahead, it's important to have the faith and groundedness to hold true and keep looking forward. Life is wonderful and these transitions make it richer - as long as we keep our eyes, minds and hearts open. (And remember that talking like this is supposed to make us feel better :).

On being Canadian

Like many others, I was feeling a bit frustrated about the fact Canada is dead last in the Olympic medal race after six days of competition.

Then I heard some of the commentary and comparisons to Australia's and China's and other nations' athletics programs. Interestingly while Canadian athletes tend to be coached and developed within a more individualistic culture, we also have to remember that we as a nation aren't especially great at supporting our athletes (especially the summer ones).

We tune in every four years and then question why we aren't doing better. What encouragement - financial or otherwise - do we provide in between? So, when our swimmers or gymnasts or rowers say that they are happy with their non-podium-earning performance as they've achieved a personal or national best, they are simply reinforcing the culture in which they live.

Canada does not really provide a concerted, well-funded athletics program. Our athletes (with support from their families and sponsors) are on their own much of the time and most of the credit needs to go to them for their diligence, talent, skill and passion. The fact that we sometimes do score medals is wonderful; however, how much of the glory can Canadians at large really claim?

All that said, I actually don't think that the 'we did our very best' approach of most of our athletes is a bad thing. Isn't this simply an insight into our oh-so-difficult-to-define Canadian personality?

Isn't it true that most of us go about our daily lives striving for success, while emphasizing a well-rounded, balanced quality of life? It's actually quite remarkable how healthy and positive most of our athletes sound and they truly do seem to believe what they're saying.

If we as a country decide that our Olympic-class athletic program is a priority, perhaps to inspire better national fitness as well as international pride, our athletes will become the benefactors of better training, support and opportunities. As a result, we all might be happier every time we sit down to cheer them all on during the Olympic games.

In the meantime, I wish them a world of success during these games as well as in their lives as a whole. They are representing us well and are indeed making us proud.

Joni

Just listening to one of my favourite albums Turbulent Indigo while it rains softly outside. Very nice way to spend a relaxing long-weekend Saturday evening.

I love Joni Mitchell - her voice, songwriting, sensibilities, strength and creativity. Not that I know her personally or anything, but what I do know I very much admire. And I have had one personal encounter which, if nothing else, confirmed that I would go ga ga if ever I had the chance to actually speak with her.

A few years ago, in Vancouver, some friends and I were out for drinks at Bacchus - a very popular piano bar on Hornby Street. Located in a boutique hotel, it often attracts celebs (e.g. Vicki Gabereau, Goldie and Kurt). On this evening, in walked Joni Mitchell with a friend and they were coming directly toward me. All I could manage to do was make some strange sound to indicate something was worthy of our attention. She walked toward, beside and then behind me enroute to her table. Which drove me nuts as I couldn't see her any longer. Until my friends suggested that I move seats as I was obviously in crisis. And so I did. And then as a good Canadian I pretended not to be gawking at her while she nibbled on her salad.

I was shocked at how much seeing her affected me. I'd never understood those crying, screaming, fainting fans before, but now I had some new insight into how we can't always predict our own reactions.

The best part though was just how much fun it was to be able to sit there in complete awe of a truly talented, iconic artist. And to realize how much it meant to me.

Note: I'm getting excited all over again just thinking about it!

Games

As in word games.

I love them, but it could be said they're not exactly my forte. Especially the online kind where you have limited time and must type madly while trying to think cleverly and quickly. Thinking and acting at the same time. At lightning speed. With people who are sometimes a decade or two younger (read much quicker reflexes and much more web savviness - at least that's my excuse!).

They can be oh so challenging and humiliating even. And yet, so very, very addictive. And I'm told a good way to stave off dementia in later life... so there you go, word twist here I come. Again.

Wish me luck.

Trust

As time goes by, I'm often reminded of just how important this ingredient is in life. Regardless of the type of relationship, it's essential to know that everyone is acting in good faith.

Granted, there are different perspectives and sometimes we may be having a challenging day/month/year, but on the whole we should be able to conduct ourselves authentically and with compassion.

How simple life would be if we all could do so. And how wonderful a world we'd have if everyone could respect and trust one another. (While an idealistic vision, one can dream right? :)

Across the Universe

Finally got to see Across the Universe and loved it! Very creative and inspiring overall - especially for someone born in 1960 (too young to have experienced that time, but very much influenced by it).

As I watched the credits, I noticed that the director was Julie Taymor who also directed Frida (another favourite). I wasn't surprised to see this as both films are beautifully rendered. Incorporating art and effects in order to further communicate the essence of the story. And I wasn't surprised to see that Across the Universe was directed by an American woman born in 1952.

For many years, I was envious of those who were 5-10 years older than me and and who actually lived the love, peace and music of the 60s era. Funny enough though, in 1979, my first university room mate, Jan (also too young to have lived it), epitomized my ideal of the 60s persona. Long blond hair, sweet and pacifist personality, played the flute and guitar and was seemingly of an earlier time and philosophy. I'm not still in touch with Jan, but last I heard she was living in a cabin in the wilds of Alberta with her husband and son. Although I only knew her for 1st year before she went to another school, I will never forget her ethereal and loving presence.

Throughout my life I've been blessed to know several other like-minded souls who also seem to harken from that time of peaceful, values-based beliefs. Driven by their devotion for the earth, animals and humanity. Sandra, Debrah, Mika, Venetia, Yael, Kim. Of different ages and yet similar approaches. All in their unique ways. And all subsequent to the 60s - which makes me ponder what created that 'peace and love' momentum in that particular decade. Was it a unique culture or was it simply that there were more empathetic people living at that time (led, of course, by early boomers).

Regardless, my heart is still pulled back from time to time to what I grew up knowing as an idealistic and (mostly) peaceful, revolutionary period in our history. And with a soundtrack consisting almost entirely of songs by The Beatles, it's hard not to get all happily nostalgic while experiencing this wonderful film.

Nice people

The city of Toronto has a bad rap in other parts of Canada. You often hear that residents of Toronto and even the rest of Ontario feel they're the centre of the universe. Or you'll hear that Torontonians are cold and unfriendly. I'm happy to say that really hasn't been my experience so far - as I've mentioned before. People are friendly on the subway, on the street, in most stores, in elevators, and in my neighbourhood.

This past week, while getting lunch right at Yonge and Eglinton, I found I only had my visa card which the small shop didn't accept. Just as I was standing in line deliberating how to make cash materialize out of nowhere, the young man next to me said he'd pay. At first I said, no that's ok, but he persisted. He was offering a random act of kindness to both me and the sandwich shop owner and both of us were quite appreciative. I asked for his business card so I could pay him back and he said, 'no, no, don't worry about it'. And so I said thanks very much and that I'd pay it forward. To which he replied 'exactly!'

When I told my friends at work what had happened it made their day - just as it had mine.

Eat, Pray, Love

Thanks to the recommendation of my friend Mika, I've just started reading this best-selling book and am enjoying it immensely. As anyone who has gone through troubling relationship woes or personal transition knows, healing and growth often do take place in these stages. Physical, spiritual, emotional.

I've just finished the "Eat" section, in which author Elizabeth Gilbert nurses her physical and sensual self back to health in Italy, while savouring the language, food, wine and beauty that is everywhere. While Italy provides the ambience, it's the friends, food and fun that help Gilbert come out of the depths of depression that drove her on a year-long journey of self discovery. Her account is heartwarming and humourous as well as inspiring. And it reminds me to feel much gratitude for my own journey.

A few years ago, my first foray into getting over a difficult breakup included getting back in touch with myself. That's when I was joined in my home by a very good friend, Venetia, as roommate, who brought along her love of life, laughter, cooking and socializing and we often found ourselves that first summer sipping wine and enjoying the sunshine on our deck - as though we were on pertpetual vacation. This focus on fun and food and all things light was just what the doctor ordered. As well, Venetia's passion for nurturing the health and wellness of others was my introduction to many of the west coast's health-based and spiritual offerings including aromatherapy, yoga and massage. I also began working with a personal trainer, playing softball and practicing yoga - all which helped me to reconnect with myself, my intuition and my physical wellbeing. Something like what Gilbert's time in Italy accomplished for her.

I look forward to reading the next section entitled "Pray" where she embarks on a spiritual journey to India.

Embrace your inner child

One of the wonderful things I've realized is that through words written and correspondence received over the years, I have a tangible connection to Debrah's wisdom and spirit. A vibrant and committed wellness proponent, she was also very open about her own struggles, lessons and path - whether sharing her latest inspiration in yoga class, helping a client explore their life plan in coaching, or trusting a friend with a business challenge. I loved that about her.

She also expressed many of her ideas in several books, articles and on her website. One of her writings featured the decision to pursue more fun in her life, to break away from being such a mature, professional, restricted adult:

"... My creativity was buried beneath layers of responsible adult behaviour... how dull!
To reclaim my creative inner child I began to watch children at play. I heard them sing out their laughter with no heed for who might be listening... or frowning. I watched them run and jump and skip without any regard for smudged clothing, disheveled hair or proper behaviour. Their faces beamed with vast reserves of joy and giggles long forgotten in the maturity of adulthood. They have so much to share if only we allow their wisdom to touch us... their innocence to soften our worried view of the world.

Then I let my creative inner child run and jump and skip, too. We played on the swings and climbed the inside of an old tree trunk (I got thoroughly soaked and smudged in the rain - it was so worth it!). I ventured further outside my box... stayed up all night to see the sun rise, watched several movies in a row until 3 am with a girlfriend, lazed in bed until noon on a sunny day 'just because', enjoyed red wine without guilt for the first time in a dozen years, indulged in exotic foods simply to tingle my tastebuds, dug out my watercolour pencils to draw for the first time in years, sang out loud with the windows down in my car, listened to new kinds of music... all for the sheer joy of it!

As a result I feel freer, more playful, more open, more creative, more loving. While I am not advocating that you disintegrate your health with nasty new habits in the name of fun, I am suggesting you experiment. Give yourself the pleasure of discovering what lives outside the box you have declared home for your spirit. Take your inner child to the playground... join the fun. Cook something unusual. Drive a different way to work. As the author Sark says, "invite someone dangerous to tea." Use your good china. Wear a new colour. Change your hairstyle. Go to an unusual play or movie. Finger paint. Let your creative spirit begin to move a bit more freely and stand back to watch what shifts in your life. You will be happier and, as idealistic as it sounds, so will the world around you. One more cheerful person on the planet contributes to all our well-being!..."*

With spring in the air, it feels like a very good time to embrace this suggestion. :)

* pp 28-29, Christmas Musings, 2005, Debrah Rafel